Reclaiming Your Masculine Energy

Most people think masculine and feminine energy is gender-oriented (such as a man being masculine and a woman being feminine). Our gender may gear us to have one form more dominant over another. However, at the end of the day, all of us have both.

The point of this post is to open the perception of your abilities as a person – regardless of gender. This post may emphasize women tapping into masculine power. Yet, the goal IS NOT to tell a woman to “be a man in a man’s world” nor vise versa. It is just not sustainable.

Instead, monitor yourself. Not in a judgy way but to observe which is your strength. Each energy should be thought of as a resource in a toolbox. Depending on the scenario needing fixing, you would reach for the energy that appropriately applies. Therefore, below are three tips on tapping into your masculine energy.

What’s the Difference?

Let’s understand the difference between masculine and feminine energy. Each chart below lists the characteristics of each:

Breaking Gender Roles

To reclaim masculine energy, open your mind. Social media is a medium to celebrate and support men wanting to paint their nails as well as women wanting to wear boxy suits. Gender fluidity and neutrality are more open and present than ever.

So when it comes to breaking the gender norms, do something that you have always deemed exclusive to the opposite sex. Cigar smoking, for example, is my favorite engagement. With a cigar in my hand, I feel emboldened, empowered, and powerful. I’m tapping into a pleasure that women tend to miss because societal norms have deemed it as solely a male activity. But it’s for everyone!

Another empowering activity is getting familiar with power tools. When I renovated two properties, I was neither the assistant nor a decorator. I relied on Youtube to learn new skills or problem-solve. By doing so, I didn’t rely on a counterpart to do ALL the physical labor.

Knowing how to hang a picture frame and install new molding is empowering for women and will change your perception of what you are capable of. The same applies to men. Understanding when to problem-solve versus listen, to empathize versus lead, and to connect versus move is vital to success in relationships and in life.

Channeling Both Energies

As briefly mentioned earlier. I like to think of energies (fem and mas) as superpowers that can be tapped into when needed. When I worked in an office, I learned how to use both entities to my advantage.

For example, moving with intention activated my masculine energy which inherently garnered more respect from my peers and confidence from my superiors.

My masculine energy allowed me to claim my space. On the flip side, I leveraged my feminine energy to build relationships or channel creativity. Both energies are needed to be successful in every aspect of our lives – inside and outside of work.

Be Present

One of my favorite lines from a movie is from the Bridge of Spies. Because feminine energy is reflective and vulnerable, it can cause us to worry a lot. In this scene, I love the conversation between two main characters who are about to embark on a dangerous exchange across a bridge:

James Donovan: Aren’t you worried?

Rudolf Abel: Would it help?

These two lines have been stuck in the back of my mind ever since. Whenever I feel angst arise or take over, I think of this and it helps me to stop and tap into rational reality by asking:

  • What can I do about this situation?
  • What else could this mean?
  • Are there other outside influences making me think/feel a certain way?

I hope this post helps you question if you are using all your power! If you are curious to know you dominent energy, take the energy test!


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5 Major Problems with Telenovelas

According to Nielsen Data, telenovelas (Latin soap operas) average 5.7 million viewers from ages 18-50 a week in the US alone. Unlike American soap operas, seasons only last one round but comprise up to over 100 episodes, making them marketable and a cornerstone of Latin American culture. 

I grew up watching them with my parents and grandparents, even though I found them strange. “Why is she always talking to herself?” I asked once about the main character’s need to have several monologues in one episode.

My parents burst into laughter as the thought never crossed their minds. Now, as a 32-year-old woman, I would be lying if I said the only reason I watched telenovelas was to keep up my Spanish. The truth is, it brings comforting, nostalgic entertainment.

But seeing that I am going through a divorce and have discovered a thing or two since my adolescent introduction to these shows, I have noticed a reoccurring theme that poses problematic expectations about love and life that I didn’t know I had unconsciously swallowed. Therefore, I decided to highlight below five problematic themes with telenovelas… in case you wondered.

The truth is, you won’t always feel an ever-flowing surge of dramatic love for your partner – especially the longer you are with them.

And just because you love someone doesn’t mean you should be with them. People fall in love with the wrong person all the time, so the notion of “all you need is love” to make a lasting relationship is very much false.

Love Conquers All

As beautiful as that sentiment is, it is incomplete. Yes, true love is beautiful and can help fuel compassion and patience. However, it is unrealistic to say that you will always be in a constant state of heart-eyed emojis. 

Long-term relationships require work and rework because people change through their lives. Sometimes, one person changes while the other partner remains the same. Naturally, this change can cause conflict, and you need more than mere love to bridge communication gaps. You need empathy, self-awareness, patience, and most importantly – the will to try. 

As entrancing as it is to see two people constantly gaze at each other in these telenovelas with automatic, work-free, and yet profound love, that portrayal of love is a fantasy, at least in the long term. 

Only Men Can Save the Day

As sexy as it is to know a man can care for you when shit hits the fan, the theme of women being helpless in these telenovelas irks me.

It seems the only time women rise to the occasion of power in the plotline is when she accumulates wealth through evil or scorned intentions.

This theme needs revamping to help change the machismo culture fueled by these ideas in these shows. Instead, we need to show women chasing ambition based on nothing but strength and show them uplifting other women in the process: no more revenge-body themes and stereotypical roles in fueling passionate decisions.

After all, it is 2021. Women do not need men to save the day or reason to succeed other than being a bomb babe. 

White Lamb Syndrome

The white lamb refers to someone who is innocent, pure, and virgin. It is a reoccurring icon used in the arts, because of religion, to refer to the “perfect woman.” But, being 2021, it baffles me that the virgin image is still upheld to the highest standard. Never mind the sexual liberation women have gained in the last decade. 

Alternatively, men are free to roam shame-free sexually, whereas women are seen as “that kind of woman.” There are all these rules about what women should and shouldn’t do on dates, how many partners she is supposed to have before she loses value, and what type of sexual venture in her past deems her unworthy of a long-term relationship.  

For example, a woman that takes a man home on her first date for no other reason than feeling a genuine connection to that man is now seen as a slut and no longer worthy. No one mentions the man in the scenario that agreed to go home with her. Only the shame is carried on the female’s shoulders, and it seems to me that this culture is very much prevalent in today’s society. 

In telenovelas, this sexual pedestal is prevalent and is very disappointing.

Stereotypes in Beauty

Colorism is a present issue in Latin culture. Though we all speak Spanish, the truth is, we are even more divided than you think. Each country and region has its nuance in communication, food, politics, and perceptions around life. One of the few common traits shared beyond language is that we were all colonialized.

In telenovelas, especially ones with Mexican characters, dark-skinned native-looking people tend to serve roles of the poor who cater to the white, European-looking folks who always hold a position of power and money. 

Unfortunately, much like Hollywood’s lack of representation of minorities – especially in leading roles, Latin culture is also behind. This blue-eyed leading lady role needs to change, especially since Hispanics come in many different colors, shapes, and sizes. It’s time for change and continuing colorism in telenovelas needs to end.

Lack of Romantic Diversity

The allure of drama is what draws viewers every week. You do not need to be straight to have problems. However, the views on LGBT culture are still very far behind in minority communities. 

I have yet to see a gay person in a telenovela and not serve a stereotypical role or fuel irrational fears. Just because you are lesbian does not mean you can’t have straight female friends, and just because a man is gay does not mean he is always flamboyant. The solution is simple – representation. Much like colorism, representation for all forms of love is needed to destigmatize LGBT people of all colors and races.

This post is a little random but dovetails into the whole representation discussion. Also, the constant themes portrayed always trigger me to think and feel a certain way as I look at my own life. If that happens for me, I’m sure that happens for you as well.The thing is, telenovelas are not real. But because they heavily influence Hispanic culture, it is still important to make sure that old fashion tones of machismo are removed, women are empowered, and representation starts making its way into scenes.